Written by Anca Mihaela Bruma
A woman
can be a variety of archetypes from the embodiment of compassion and mercy, to
the personification of wisdom and cold analysis. In these modern times, women
need to feel empowered, and not defined by their gender. Over the past few centuries
an interesting shift in opinion took place, as women moved from being feminine
to being feminists; if before, the idea of femininity was very much synonymous
with submissiveness, nowadays women feel much more in “control” of their own
gender.
For years
women have constantly tried to realize their full potential, from being a very
loving wife, nurturing mother, and close friend to being a successful career
person. She went from being viewed as Aphrodite to becoming revered as Athena.
While women were liberated both internally and externally through the various
waves of feminist movements, a series of mistakes was committed along the way. One
of these errors was to abandon femininity for the sake of being a feminist.
This mistake caused women to lose a very essential aspect of their own selves.
For too long the sensual aspect of a woman had been misinterpreted, trivialized
and marketed as a commodity. The result was the neglect of a very simple truth;
that women are to be honored and not objectified. For many, “femininity” simply
means external projection which although it may sustain the idea of femininity,
does not represent what being a woman is all about i.e. the internal
experience, the essence of the woman.
The
traditional gender stereotype removal also led to the process of morphing women
into men as they tried to keep up with a patriarchal society. The multi-faceted
and multi-dimensional aspect of woman has been reduced to but a few revelatory features
while the rest has been left to languish in the shadows. The structure of
today’s society has changed so much, and this also includes how we now perceive
the family cell. Nowadays one can easily find women who are the sole bread-winners
in the household, who live as single parents. This very fact requires a woman
to be more “alpha” and to have a more “masculine” approach in order for her and
her siblings to survive. She must become the main “provider” (a role once
attributed to men) rather than a “nurturer”. Of course she will retain her
former characteristics, but unfortunately one takes over the other as she
becomes more Amazonian, more warrior-like.
The end
of 19th century and beginning of 20th century saw the journey of women shift from
femininity to feminism, from being mystical to logical, from being an Aphrodite
to an Athena-type figure. In order to be able to obtain a certain degree of
gender equality, women more or less had to discard the mystical goddess aspect
of Aphrodite in order to pursue a new one, the logical and warrior type of the
goddess Athena. This switch-over from being feminine to feminist made women fall
into an existential trap. Major changes had occurred in their very own essence during
the process of developing the ability to compete in a man’s world so that they
could reinforce and validate their own image by trying to identify themselves
with the logical male view. The error which I think was made was to alter the
old balance of provider versus nurturer, male energy versus female energy, as
the world was not in need of more paternalistic thinkers.
Every woman
should understand that living a meaningful life and having the freedom to proclaim
the multidimensional aspects of femininity is not the same as taking part in a
popularity contest, as these feminine aspects are fundamental to her very
existence in a world which does not truly value beauty but breaks the heart of
humanity, fostering greed over humanitarianism, a devolution of ancient values
rather than an evolution of the consciousness as predicated by various seers.
Femininity
is often very badly wrapped and is thus perceived as being a vulnerable, weak
and passive trait which should be hidden if not locked away in shame, when in
fact it is a sacred virtue, a powerful source of nourishment, an amazing power
from which most of the time women have chosen to be disconnected. They have
become so used to the idea that in order to get something they ought to behave
how a man usually does, but in doing so they have sacrificed their own feminine
expression, creating from the outside rather than from the inside out,
forgetting to celebrate their femininity without fear or even shame, banning
their own transformational magic.
A woman
relaxing in her true feminine energy is a woman who is able to show her true
self. We are living in a world which emphasizes the idea that masculinity is
great and powerful. Women who try to keep up with or live up to this image are
forgetting they can embrace both feminine and masculine aspects within
themselves, rather than just cultivate one side. This process led to women
disempowering themselves, causing them
to mistrust the very core of their own existence and reject the sacredness of
their femininity.
We are also
guilty of engaging in the illusion that women might just not be good enough and
there is a lot of existing literature on how to set this right, and how we should
look like in order to be embraced and accepted as role models. This has nothing
to do with the real idea of womanhood, and does no more than promote an
unrealistic idea of what women should be doing. It creates damaging images
which nowadays society promotes as being a dignified.
The
Ancients spoke of the Divine female, the goddess, who represents balance, love,
nurture, and healing - a symbol of renewal and restoration, pro-activity and
wisdom applied constructively. We may be able to achieve the goals which
society desires and demands of us, but that does not mean to say these goals
truly serve us as women.
Personally,
I perceive the word “feminist” as tending more towards male energy (Therefore
Athena with her warlike attributes and determination to win) and “feminine” as
leaning more towards female energy (Therefore Aphrodite, the nurturer and giver
of love).
We are
living in a world where finding a balance is not only necessary but compulsory,
therefore finding a balance between the masculine and feminine within us is
critical to our very own existence. This is the image portrayed by the goddess
Artemis in whom both energies mingle harmoniously and in whom creation and
co-creation reside.
In the end,
I would like you to ask yourself what femininity and feminism truly mean to you.
Try to re-define yourself. Embracing and celebrating these energies within
yourself and in others can bring change to you, to those around you, to your
community and of course, on a larger scale, to the world itself.
In
conclusion femininity is not an attribute to be feared or a trait which may
bring about chaos. The world doesn’t need more masculine or more success-driven
women. The world is in need of more feminine women of the kind who know how to
balance both masculine and feminine energies harmoniously within their being.
The world awaits more Artemises.
Anca Mihaela Bruma recitals, videos & poems here:
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